emotions fresh again. I was ten years old when my brother was born and I was certain he'd come straight from heaven just for me. His son looks so much like he did, my heart was doing weird time-warpy stuff.In fact, the whole weekend felt like a long carnival ride but instead of the funhouse mirror doing fat/thin, I kept bouncing child/adult. It's happened to me other times visiting my family: they all still live in the same area where we grew up, each have children that look very much like they did
when they were little, and take their children to school with the children of the kids we graduated with. I'll find myself giggling about one of our old friends and be almost shocked when my teenage daughter comes in, asking what's so funny. It's not always fun and games - those old hurts seem to jump to mind just as quickly as the sentimental snapshots. Some trips, I frequently reprimand myself, "Lisa, how old are you?" just to get a grip.
This time however, my feet kept finding solid ground. I'd been prepared to have to struggle to keep my mouth shut. I've been branded the black sheep of the family, the weird sister, the "hippy". When it finally occurred to me to question the nature of that label, my brother graciously changed it to "the free-spirited" sister. Still, we live very different lives and I, being the big sister, worry. If my crazy worldview really does turn out to be accurate rather than wacky, I don't want them to be hurt. However, I promised myself that I wouldn't inventory their pantry or check their flashlight batteries or update their first aid kits - I was going to be "normal".
Living tucked away in your own reality can really warp your perspective. I am grinning now to imagine that I could have kept my mouth shut even with the best discipline. Lucky for me, it turns out my family is going to be just fine. Each of them, in their own lifelong way, has developed a support community. They all look very different from mine. None of them would label themselves prepared for disaster, sustainable, or free-spirited. But if the shit does hit the fan, I think they will have the courage and the brains to take care of their families with the same honor and commitment that I will take care of mine.
It's as if I saw, for the first time, two separate Americas. One is what I read on internet blogs, hear on the radio, see on the nightly news. While that paradigm seems so far from what Jeff and I have been able to build in our life, I guess I thought everyone not like us was a helpless victim of the Nightly News Paradigm. But I was blessed to be immersed in the resiliency of regular Americans for a weekend - people I know to be happy, stressed, grieving, poor, well-off, celebrating, struggling, toiling, distracted, hurting, and healing. In short, people fully involved in the business of living.
Whatever happens with the economy, with the elections, with the wars, the great majority of this world will be people more like my family than me or the folks making the Nightly News. I've let my attention focus on what was falling apart and how to protect my family from the shrapnel and missed seeing the durable weave of regular America. Like any fabric, I imagine there will be weak spots that simply cannot hold the weight of the falling paradigm. But the human species has been around for a very long time - I did not invent Adaptation.The photos on this post are all herbs we found in my sister's garden. She just moved into a rental a month ago and, having not grown a garden of her own, wasn't aware of the incredible wealth she'd inherited. The last couple of hours with my family was spent picking and smelling, identifying and extolling the virtues of her unexpected sustainable homestead. Next Spring Break, maybe she'll let her big sister spend a week playing in her garden and making medicines to soothe the hurts I may not be there to bandage. In the meantime, each picture is linked to its Wikipedia entry. Maybe you will see something here that is in your sister's garden too!
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